Prophetic silence: the wisdom of minding your own business

Whether willingly or inadvertently, we often find ourselves entangled in conversations or situations that have nothing to do with us. At times, our involvement can be beneficial—when our knowledge, experience, or wisdom contributes to resolving an issue or bringing about good. However, more often than not, stepping into matters that do not concern us leads to harm—both for ourselves and for those directly involved. The real challenge lies in recognising the boundaries and knowing where to draw the line.

Before engaging in someone else’s affairs, we must take a moment to pause and reflect: “Why am I doing this?” Is it to offer genuine help and advice, or are we motivated by less noble intentions? Is it to gossip, to gather salacious details, or to mock or belittle someone in their time of difficulty? If the latter, we must be careful and check ourselves, and our intentions, for these actions neither benefit us nor others, and they distance us from Allah عزوجل. We must resist the temptation to justify such behaviour under false pretences, for while we may deceive others, nothing is hidden from Allah عزوجل, who knows the innermost secrets of our hearts.

Allah عزوجل warns us in the Qurʾān (49:12) about indulging in baseless talk and spying on others, reminding us to uphold dignity and respect:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱجْتَنِبُوا۟ كَثِيرًۭا مِّنَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ ٱلظَّنِّ إِثْمٌۭ ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ تَوَّابٌۭ رَّحِيمٌۭ

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of Repentance and Merciful.”

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that indulging in gossip, suspicion, or prying into the private matters of others is an abhorrent act and leads to spiritual harm. Instead, Allah عزوجل commands us to fear Him عزوجل and seek forgiveness, refraining from such behaviours that tarnish our character and relationships.

The blessed Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم also provided clear guidance on this matter, stating:

إِنَّ مِنْ حُسْنِ إِسْلَامِ الْمَرْءِ تَرْكَهُ مَا لَا يَعْنِيهِ

“Verily, part of perfection in Islam is for a person to leave what does not concern him.” — Tirmidhī #2318

This hadith, simple yet profound, emphasises the importance of focusing on one’s own responsibilities and avoiding unnecessary involvement in the affairs of others. Such restraint is a hallmark of good character and an essential aspect of perfecting one’s faith. Another hadith expands on this principle, urging us to use our speech and actions for good rather than harm:

مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلاَ يُؤْذِ جَارَهُ، وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيُكْرِمْ ضَيْفَهُ، وَمَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَقُلْ خَيْرًا أَوْ لِيَصْمُتْ

“Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbour, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet.” — Bukhārī #6018

This timeless advice underscores the value of thoughtful speech and the need to avoid words that do not bring benefit or may cause harm. By controlling our tongues, we not only protect others but also safeguard ourselves from sin.

While we may never attain perfection, the life of the blessed Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم is an exemplary one, one which shows us the path to Allah عزوجل. His life was a testament to restraint, wisdom, and kindness, and it is through striving to follow his example that we can refine ourselves. The blessed Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم never involved himself in matters that did not concern him, nor did he speak without purpose. His صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم words and actions were always deliberate, aimed at bringing benefit, spreading peace, and pleasing Allah عزوجل.

Allah عزوجل reminds us in the Qurʾān (74:38) to focus on our own deeds and accountability rather than meddling in the affairs of others:

كُلُّ نَفْسٍۭ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ رَهِينَةٌ

“Every soul, for what it has earned, will be retained.”

Here we are being told that we are each responsible for our own actions and will be held accountable before Allah عزوجل. It urges us to concentrate on perfecting our own character and faith rather than fixating on others.

Let us take this guidance to heart and practise it in our daily lives. The next time we feel the urge to involve ourselves in someone else’s business, let us pause and reflect. Are we truly helping, or are we satisfying our base desires under the guise of concern? Let us remind ourselves of the blessed Prophet’s صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم wisdom and strive to embody his teachings, leaving what does not concern us and focusing instead on what brings us closer to Allah عزوجل and strengthens our faith.

May Allah عزوجل grant us the wisdom to recognise our boundaries, the strength to restrain our tongues and actions, and the sincerity to purify our intentions. Let us strive, not for perfection, but for progress, following the blessed footsteps of the blessed Prophet صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم to the best of our abilities.

And Allah عزوجل and His Messenger صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم know best.